Doctors Appointment
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I went to the doctor today, for a follow up to see if taking me off the hormones had worked to kill the rest of the endometriosis. When the doctor found out I was still in bad pain in my back, she suggested I continue the “hormone holiday”. She was quite pleased with how well I was healing otherwise. She then gave me a referral to a family doctor who also specializes in sports medicine to run some tests on my back. She wants to rule out any other problems. I would love to have your prayers that we could get to the bottom of this, so that I can totally be healed in time for school to start…. thanks a bunch!
Need Prayer
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Please pray for my doctor’s appointment on the thirtieth of May. We are going to discuss our options with the doctor, and we just want to all be on the same page. We want to have peace, and for the doctor to have peace about what we decide on. We want God’s will to be done, so we definitely need wisdom and discernment, the doctor too. Thank you.
In For A Dollar…
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You can probably tell we are struggling financially right now. I am not writing this to make anyone feel sorry for me, or for a handout, as usual, this is for me. I would really love the prayers though. Between my husband and I both being in grad school, surgeries, fertility treatments, emergency room visits, and living expenses, because I have been unable to work, it has been rough. I would love to get a job and help out my husband, but how can I go to an employer and say hire me, but I may get sick at least three days out of every week, one week of the month I have to stay in bed, and I might miss at least two days a month for fertility treatments. No one in their right mind would hire me. Don’t get me wrong, I have been having a lot of good days lately. But there have been a lot of bad ones too. But even during the bad ones, my spirits have been great. I feel so much guilt and shame, that I can not go out and get a job to help my husband. I call myself a Loser all the time, and Garon gets so upset. I keep telling myself that God will provide a way, since he has allowed me to be sick. He knows my problems. It is doubly hard up here, because no one goes into debt. Everyone works two and three jobs, and all the wives work, that do not have children. We have a lot of debt (because of medical reasons, we are not frivolous), and are talking about taking out some school loans, and people keep telling us not to do it, but we see no other way. How many people’s wives can not physically work? So no one understands my health issues. People ask if maybe we should take a break from school, and just work. To be honest, that would not get us out of debt, and pay our bills, so that is pointless. Right now the student loans, are what is paying for my fertility treatments. My husband may feel embarrassed by this post, so I may erase it if he disapproves. I just wrote this to ask for your prayers, and so that some would understand why I do not work or why we do not quit school.
A Proposal
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1 Peter 4:19 (New Living Translation)
So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you.
I have a proposal. I would like to start a support group, not on line, but in person. I am having a meeting with my Pastor’s wife, May fourth, to see her thoughts on the subject. I do not know yet, if there is one in the area, as far as I know, there is not. I believe this is a definite need. Too many women go through this alone, this is a very isolating thing. It causes a lot of frustration, doubts, bitterness, and resentment. I want to help others see their infertility and pain through God’s eyes, and to encourage them in their faith. I think it would help me immensely. I want to be a counselor, and I have taken all the basic classes in counseling, so I think I know enough to get started. This group would provide prayer, encouragement, resources, information, support and community. We would deal with the financial, emotional, relational, and spiritual ramifications of infertility. I would want it to be open to women who experience primary or secondary infertility, miscarriage, failed adoptions, stillbirth, those considering adoption, and those who are living child free. I know this is a wide range of people, but a lot of the grief is similar. I would want this group to biblical based and not just a self help kind of thing. I would like to meet either weekly or biweekly. I am thinking about advertising on the church’s website, the school website, the school’s board, and maybe the school’s paper. I would need to probably talk to the women’s ministries office first. If the church, does not want to do this, maybe the school would be willing for us to meet there. This could also turn into an outreach thing, for there are many unbelievers that might would come to something like this. Here are the goals: 1. To transform the way we see God, our future, and our infertility. 2. To help others experience God’s peace and His love, understand His will, and know His character during this season of life. 3. To inform others and give biblical guidance as they make decisions concerning treatments. (Not judging their decisions.) 4. To learn about contentment no matter the circumstances. 5. To show practical ways to talk to families and well meaning friends. 6. To promote a safe community that prays for one another, encourages one another, and speaks the truth in love. 7. To share resources. I hope I am going about this right, I am so excited. I feel I have a purpose. It is hard to figure out one’s identity when the highest calling for one’s life, is taken away. (This is not true, a woman’s highest calling is to live for God, and His pleasure and glory, however women are taught from a young age, that motherhood is the highest calling.) I hope this is what God is telling me to do, and that everything will work out.
We are called to comfort others, with the comfort we have been given.
2 Corinthians 1:4 (New King James Version)
who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
Hi. My name is Laura, and this is my journey through infertility and chronic pain. I hope it will minister to you, or you can use it to minister to someone else.

